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Post subject: Topic: Prelude (PG-13)
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Title: Prelude
Author: Yule
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Author's Notes/Summary: Andros is having doubts about Cassie's fidelity, and there are forces at play that neither could have foreseen. (Vamp_charisma, I finally found it!)
Distribution Rights: With the exception of my own online journal, this is not posted any place else, and I wish for that to remain so.
Disclaimer: Power Rangers and related characters, machines, places, and weapons belong to Saban, Levy, and affiliated American and Japanese corporations.
"You should be lying down."
Cassie Chan turned around from the window she had been peering out of to give her husband a look of disgruntled exasperation. "I'm fine," she stated firmly, her lips compressed into a tight line. She turned back around to admire the view.
In the doorway, Andros sighed inwardly, his gaze never wavering from the staunchly held back of his wife. She had braided her hair earlier that morning into a single braid that reached the middle of her back. The ebony strands caught the fading light of the setting sun, casting a heavenly glow on his pregnant wife, and her skin, pale from the difficulties plaguing her, seemed almost translucent. The maternity gown she wore was a two-piece light purple cotton pajama that, she said, gave her all the covering she desired without making her feel suffocated. So used to seeing her in pink that it took him a while to become comfortable with the sight of his wife clothed in a purple outfit, even if it was a set of pajamas.
But that had been a long time ago, in the beginning, when everything, it seems, was simpler.
Careful not to disturb whatever thoughts she was now nursing, he made his way across the room to stand by her side at the window. "I'm only trying to look after you," he said softly. He brushed a stray strand of hair from her forehead (a habit that he had formed over the duration of their relationship), and Cassie closed her eyes. "You know what the doctor said--"
"I know what he said," she interrupted, albeit with a gentler tone than the one she had just a few moments ago. "Believe me, people have been reiterating them for the past nine months."
Andros smiled; his friends could be counted on to look after her when he wasn't there to do so. He made a reminder to send them a thank-you note.
Cassie opened her eyes just in time to see the smile before it left Andros's face. At the sight, the corners of her own mouth curved up, and she shook her head. "I can't recall how many times T.J. threatened to forcefully carry me to bed, and Carlos offered up ropes and handcuffs to keep me there."
Andros frowned as a memory entered his mind. "I don't think I like that."
Cassie laughed. "Let's not go there, please. I, too, have tried to block that particular memory." She continued to smile, long after the laughter had died down. "I think Ashley's still in shock."
"How is she?"
"Good; she's fine," Cassie said. With her head, she gestured to the sight in front of them. "Isn't it lovely?"
Indeed, it was as if an angel's ascent into heaven had been immortalized in time. Soft pink wisps and ferocious red streaks illuminated the darkening sky. The orange rays from the sun colored the sky haphazardly, like an artist tossing paint onto a canvass for show, leaving faint, indiscernible spots of blue sky that was quickly turning purple; in some places, it was already black, and in those faint spots, a few stars had come out for their nightly appearance.
Andros was in awe of it all. This used to be a daily ritual of his, one that he had acquired since he had made a permanent residence on Earth, and one that Cassie had come to appreciate the more he had forced her to watch it with him. Now it was a ritual for her, and he engaged in the activity whenever work allowed him. It pleased him to know that she had thought his habit to be one that deserved her time. The setting of the sun held many memories for them both, most of them pleasant.
Like a breeze, a memory stirred in his mind and Andros bit his lip, upset that the beautiful atmosphere that now imbued the nursery was going to be disrupted by him. The last thing he wanted was to upset Cassie and the serenity of the moment; but the more the questions plagued him, the more uncomfortable and disturbed he became.
He had been hoping to get Cassie alone to talk to her about what was ailing him, and today was the day he had hoped to accomplish that goal. This was one of the few times they've been alone since he'd been at home. Her pregnancy had brought about the re-emergence of familiar faces and people who were eager to wish her well. In those few times he had been home, they had been surrounded by friends and well-wishers; and, after all their guests had left, the first thing Cassie did was sleep -- a habit she had formed during the pregnancy. He knew he should have spoken up sooner, perhaps should have told her while she was in her earliest stages of the pregnancy (or, before they got married, if he wanted to be completely honest). But the news of the pregnancy itself had shaken him, broken his heart, and caused his mind to jump into a chaotic mess of jumbled thoughts, explanations, and accusations that had forced him to flee into space and undertake as many missions he could, furtively hoping that by the time he returned, those questions would have answers, and he would once more be able to enjoy the life that he and Cassie had established.
Could he dare tell her that the baby she carried couldn't possibly be his? Could he tell her that, due to a childhood circumstance that almost left him dead, he had been rendered sterile, unable to have kids? Could he tell her how devastated he had been, how hurt, when the doctor had told him that he was going to be a father?
And he had checked, just to make sure that something hadn't changed inside of him. As soon as he had heard the news, he had taken a trip to visit a doctor on the East Coast, far from where anyone could ascertain his identity; and, much to his displeasure and growing agitation, he had been told that he was still sterile. Even then, he couldn't believe those words spoken by the doctor, but he soon had to accept that the child in his wife's womb was not his own. And standing before his glowing wife, who was undergoing difficulty for a child that was not his, he had to, despite how self-congratulatory it sounded, pat himself on the back for not flying into a rage.
While there was no hesitation on his part to admit that he wanted children, the circumstances surrounding this one in particular was causing him great anguish. A child that couldn't possible be his, a wife in constant pain because she was carrying a child that wasn't his -- seeing it grow, wondering who put it there... what they did to put it there...
"Andros? Are you okay?"
Cassie's concerned voice jerked him from his thoughts. Slowly, her face came into focus. Her skin was now basking in a light-orange glow. The sight softened him and brought him back to reality, to the truth, that he loved his wife, and trusted her.
"Yes," he replied softly, "just got lost in the view."
Cassie gave him a small smile before returning her attention to the sun.
He had absolute faith in Cassie's fidelity - he had to, if only to keep himself sane. Besides, he told himself on a daily basis, Cassie was a friend first, wife second. They both placed a lot of faith in the friendship that had led to them forming this union. Her honesty, caring personality, and trustworthiness were just a few of the traits he had found admirable and lovable. Without a doubt, he could have never fallen in love with someone who didn't possess said traits. He demanded as much as he gave, and the only person he had met who filled those qualifications and more was Cassie - his Cassie - his friend of several years, his wife for five.
But as husband and wife, the roles they had assumed were vastly different. There was a deeper intimacy between them; now, there was also sex -- and both were crucial to their relationship. His fondest memories now consisted of all those nights he had spent by her side, sleeping; those late nights when making love was a way of killing time and waiting for the morning to come so that they could watch the sun rise together; those moments when just being together was the highlight of his day.
But these moments became mere memories after the pregnancy. He tried to spend as few nights as he could at home; in the daytime, he was gone on some mission, mostly doing ship maintenance. While he had decided to remain a Power Ranger, Cassie had been happy, almost delighted to gradually leave the role of Pink Ranger to become the songwriter and producer she was today. He had had more difficulty relinquishing his duties, and it had then been decided by the both of them, earlier in their marriage, that he could and should continue protecting Earth and the galaxy; she would take care of all matters here on Earth.
This arrangement caused conflict, but not arguments. He was gone for long periods of time. Sometimes, while he was walking the halls of the Mega Ship, he felt guilty; he should be on Earth, trying to help Cassie build a life. He always felt selfish, horribly so, and he had come to the conclusion that while he himself failed at being a husband, Cassie excelled at being a wife. Cassie constantly reminded him of the reasons and the end results of his missions. His inability to stay on Earth and create a life for himself and Cassie weighed heavily on his mind. Earth was new, strange, and complex, moreso than any other planet he had had the pleasure (or displeasure) of visiting. So, while they both knew and understood why it was necessary for him to remain a ranger for the time being, that didn't negate the fact that, to him (and maybe to Cassie) that it was wrong.
And the missions, brief in their length in the beginning due to his desire not to leave his wife's side for long periods of time, became lengthier after the announcement of the pregnancy.
So in his mind, she could have found solace in the arms of another man; she could have discovered what his absence kept her from seeking. If that was the case, though, and this was the one question that kept him from accusing her outright of being unfaithful: Why did she stay? With her money, fame, and knowledge, there wasn't a man on this planet who wouldn't want her, who didn't want her. So why did she continue to stay with him, a foreigner, a Power Ranger, and a lousy husband?
"Andros, look!"
Once again, Cassie's voice cut through the thick molasses of thought, and he looked up just in time to spy the sun slipping behind red horizon. The night sky and its denizens now made their appearance. Not a cloud marred the heavenly view.
"You can see Mars tonight," she whispered. During the time he was absent from the show, Cassie had slipped closer to him, and her hand was now in his, her fingers entwined in his, making his own cold. He wondered what could be making his hand so cold, and he looked down at their hands.
It was her ring.
He stared at the band, hypnotized by what it symbolized. Love. Trust. Honesty. Fidelity. Solid silver, not gold - she had wanted to be slightly different. It seared into his flesh, forcing the questions and doubts to spring into his mind like an invading army.
It only took a few minutes for his solidarity and confidence in her to waver.
Lousy husband and friend - that was him.
He withdrew his hand from hers. "I need to go check on something." I need to get away to think. "I'll be back in a few minutes." I might try to return before you wake up in the morning, but long after you've fallen asleep.
"What?" Cassie asked. The softness of her features was slowly melting into confusion and displeasure. "Where are you going?" She stepped in front of him, blocking his view of the sky and wrapping her arms around his neck, drawing him into her embrace. The light floral scent of her body wash and shampoo tickled his senses, and his eyelids fluttered closed as she pressed a light kiss on the contour of his jaw. "I thought we could spend a little time together," she whispered, her minty breath caressing his skin, cooling off the heat that was building in his cheeks. She pulled back briefly and gave him a sultry look that caused him to blush deeply. She was the only one who could still make him feel like an inexperienced sixteen year-old, and he wanted to fall in to her, get lost as he always did.
But the pressure of the protrusion of her stomach on his abdomen stopped him, bringing him back into the harshness that was reality.
"And the doctor said it would be okay."
Those words penetrated like a laser beam, straight to his heart. He gently pried her arms from around his neck, the mood disappearing as if it has never existed, but he knew it did. Once he got on the ship, it'll be the only thing he's going to be thinking about. "I really need to go." She bit her lip, but nodded her consent. He dropped a quick kiss on her head and turned around to leave the room, eager to hit something lest he burst.
"Andros!" He turned back around. Cassie gave him a nervous smile before saying, "I'm almost near my due date."
"I know," he lied. "I won't be long."
She waved him off, and he left, giving himself over to the demons and monsters that would not let him enjoy life.
*~*~*~*
After hearing the front door close behind him, Cassie stood alone in the nursery, fiddling with her fingers, unsure of what to do. She knew something was bothering Andros, something he obviously didn't feel like sharing with her. She didn't mind, really, but that didn't mean she didn't care, or that she wasn't curious as to what was plaguing him.
She had noticed the change some months ago. It wasn't as if she had looked around and noticed the emptiness that now plagued the house; it was a gradual accumulation of observations that had, one night when she was alone, wincing in pain as the baby kicked and twisted, made them obvious. The situation was different now. The baby itself occupied many of her thoughts, but that didn't mean she didn't worry about Andros; she did, it just seemed as if he was able to take care of himself better than she ever could.
She let out a sigh of frustration and dejection. It was hard for her to classify her feelings about everything. Her husband, her life, her career, her child... there was so much going on inside her head, so many worries and hopes and fears and dreams... she had no one to talk to. Well, to be honest, she had her friends (she always did), but it wasn't the same sometimes. She wasn't always comfortable with discussing her problems with them, and she definitely didn't feel like discussing Andros with them. She probably could discuss him with T.J. and Carlos; she wasn't too sure about Ashley, although that was more of her problem than her friend's. Ashley was now accustomed to seeing the two of them together, and she was more than supportive. Still, in her mind, it just didn't seem right...
Cassie sighed again. Her best bet if she wanted to enjoy a non-sleepless night was to dispel these thoughts until tomorrow morning. She was relatively sure that Andros wouldn't come home until long after she was asleep; he had a habit of doing that now.
Shaking her head, she left the nursery to go to the kitchen to get something to snack on; food always eased her mind. But the sound of the front door opening and closing made her stop. Puzzled – and somewhat excited that maybe, just maybe, he had returned to be with her – she hurriedly exited the room and went to peer down the stairs into the foyer.
Nothing.
"Andros?" she called down. Her question was met with silence. Tiny pricks of apprehension crept along her spine, but she did not heed their call, choosing instead to go down the stairs to see who had entered her house. She placed a lot (maybe too much) faith in the alarm system they had installed when they first bought this house. No one – man or beast, friend or foe – could get past the system. It was that foolproof. Zhane was that good.
Much to her immense disappointment, the foyer was empty. Her shoulders sagged, and she sighed and turned around to enter the kitchen. She didn't know why she actually thought that tonight would be different. She was only fooling herself, and if there was one thing she had learned from life, it was that fooling herself was never going to accomplish anything good --
A blow from behind caught her across her head, sending her sprawling to the floor, making her cry out. Instinctively, her hands flew out to stop her fall before her stomach hit the floor and became crushed underneath her own weight. Stars and white spots filled her view, and the pain in her head made her eyes water, blurring what little vision of her surroundings she had left. Though she made a move to get up, the blow had connected directly at the base of her skull, and already, despite her attempts to not give in, her vision was going black... getting darker... her hearing... becoming... silent. [/b] |
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